with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
