You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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