she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
