you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
