Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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