Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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