Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just cropdusted the office
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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