Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
then he tried to convert me to islam
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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