I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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