Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
just found out that she named her cat after me.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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