This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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