I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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