i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
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