hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
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I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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