bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I forget how to act sober
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
