arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Randomize
