Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
