but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
