Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
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The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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