Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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