He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means