I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
