just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
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I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
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she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.