This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
dude i'm inner monologue high
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
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I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
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I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused