Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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