guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Semen is not good for contacts.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
His nipple licking is glorious
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