watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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