Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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