Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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