So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
