BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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