It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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