can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
