just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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