Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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