I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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