I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
