turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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