My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
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It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
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Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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