She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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