Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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