I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Holy sore nipples Batman
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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