Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
