I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
