toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
