So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
