i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
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I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
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Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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