I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
