A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
oh god the rape fog is back!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Randomize
