So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I am midnight drunk by noon
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
