I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
