How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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