So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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