Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
