All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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