does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
we're so committed to being not committed
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