There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize