Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
