yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
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