Pregnant stripper...not hot.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
