I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
