I met the friendliest cop last night
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize