if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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