I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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