wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize