Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Come see our sink grown plant.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
