what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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