Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
