I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
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This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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