Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
We need to rekindle our bromance
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
