are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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