My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
