Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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