He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
